Sometimes I wonder if my friend studies mystic Christian theology because he's afraid to come out of the closet. Evidently, it's okay to talk about God coming inside you, but not to say the same about dudes.
Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
There are no words to adequately express my gratitude for sending me porn you found staring a former classmate.
As i lay in bed, clutching my face, i'm starting to believe your dick in my eye story.
I started making breakfast to subdue the hangover and last of the shrooms and only got as far as eating a half frozen pierogi out of a dixie cup.
She broke up with him yesterday after she cheated on him. He's going a bachelor party next weekend. How has Homeland Security not raised the threat level?
I feel like my lungs want to punch me in the vagina.
is that even a sentence?
I don't know how I got here... but I think I'm in a Christian Impact meeting... I'm trying to act as straight as possible. They can sense gay.
the thing I didn't realize I would miss about college is that at home you can't just dismiss your sex bruises as drunk accidents
also, the amount of semen in my carpet right now is unforgivable...
That was like a fiery explosion of flailing arms and wonderful passion
You chugged 6 beers in a row and then outed your boss at a party last night.
One day we'll be rich enough to go to rehab. Until then, fuck it.
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
Randomize
