is your mom at the bar?
Zach says you can't see his penis until after we're married...not sure why?! Bt then he said he thinks maybe you already have on the wild animal night!
ew. I made a sandwich, and the cheese reminded me of her vagina
stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
My broken door handle makes it really inconvient for when i need to puke at red lights.
Got high and weighed everything in the house. My head is 16.2 pounds. Is that ok?
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
He was drinking wine out of a pyrex measuring cup at two in the afternoon and told me my ass looked fantastic in my sweatpants. I love university
I take back all the times I've said life was unfair. I'm about to have two trained bartenders for a girlfriend and roommate
the last thing I heard was you screaming as the rodeo team herded you to the next party
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
Sometimes I have to make sure these messages are going to you and I'm not about to give someone in my phone book a heart attack.
I recently had a rabies scare because I thought putting socks on my hands to pick up a squirrel that got in my house was a good idea.
Didn't shower and drew a couple dicks on my face before I went to work. Boss sent me home. Sacrificed my dignity for a 3 day weekend with you guys.
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
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