how does a 20 year old who hasnt gone through puberty yet score the game winning goal? fuck sidney crosby and his small nuts.
I just sold my mom a dimebag. Should I feel scared or sucessful?
i DID try to find you last night. i asked where you were and you texted me the letter "e" and a picture of the dark.
I think you begin to realize how unfair life really is when you're high and you discover that the new box of fruit by the foot on your shelf is actually empty
My favorite bartender added me on Facebook. Now he can clearly see how under 21 I am
Lets just say that a certain piercing set off certain alarms when I went thru the airport detector/scanner thingie. David was high fived like 12 times.
I just imagined you going baby-crazy and trying to shove him up into your uterus. Yes, I'm aware he's 7 years old.
It took 6 cruisers to bust the party last night. Cop asked if the theme was a beach party. I said I would fucking hope so with 8 tons of sand in the garage
my parents have to start far too many of our conversations with the sentence "this is an observation, not a judgment" than I'm proud of
I was grinding on him when mosquitoes starting biting us and ruined every damn thing. I just wanted to fuck on a slide under the stars. It's every girls dream.
I flashed my cleaning lady and don't remember who I went on a date with. I know who I woke up with though, that counts right?
she fell asleep in a torn bush after playing cards at a nursing home.
LEAVE ME AND MY NIPPLES ALONE
Oh I fucked him, definitely. We played Strip Halo.
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
Randomize
