Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
started to yawn and threw up hamburger helper instead. awesome night.
He just told me that he goes squirrel hunting. NO LONGER BANGABLE.
Can I just put my face in your boobs and forget the world?
scratch that I can tell you where she is shes drunk on a beach somewhere being a penis slayer
He probably thinks you're playing hard to get.
Hard to get?? I'm playing leave me the fuck alone.
I spilt beer on the table, and she quickly got a straw and yelled party foul and made me drink it.
I just sent a snapchat of my boobs for Adderall. It's finals season.
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
He told me he needed "space" but then goes and likes my insta of panacakes.. Done.
I just sat on the floor of my shower for 20 minutes to punish myself for drunk me's decisions.
And for today's main disappontment. I thought I saw a midget with fireworks get on the buss, alas it's a child with cleaning supplies
So who has the penis shaped party tray? You or your mom?
I literally ended up in this basement and was tangoing w my friend and then I peed in a supply closet and had to be put to bed
fell asleep while jerking off ln. woke up to my hand in my pants and my cat crawling all over me
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