I found your undies. They were wrapped around my leg.
She kept screaming "yeah! You pick up my books!" the whole time. . .
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
You kicked in the door when she was blowing him. You dont remember do you?
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
College is the ONLY place where you can pass off morning sickness as being hungover. I'm currently pouring beer in a spray bottle so I can spray it on myself and smell drunk.
I am going to borrow your water/shock proof video camera for St. Pattys day so that if wake up next to the highway again I know why.
Ok but I hold the right to any footage of you getting slapped, puking, anything with body shots, and allowed to make a montage of it to put on youtube.
Dude, you were so wasted she couldn't wait. She was grinding your face while you were passed out in the yard.
I see your walk of shame and raise you a day in jail wearing a girls old workout clothes.
Almost to work. And still feel hungover. Like my body is trying to regenerate after dying. Full on zombie shit. But like, one of those zombies from warm bodies that comes back to life slowly.
Do I get bonus points if I get lockjaw after a cosmic blowjob?
He just texted me a video of him jerking off. He must really be looking forward to the Super Bowl.
I ended up in th ER yelling my height weight and age
just creeped your profile pictures and you should feel satisfied in knowing that you had great eyebrows even before people started drawing them on
I will feel awake by 6 pm
Are we not meeting until 6?
No I'm just saying thats usually when my body knows it's time to party
Randomize
