we have to go try and show our tits so we can get ID-free drinks at applebees
Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
I just said that Oprah is crazy and like 5 fat white girls jumped down my throat. I sat back and smiled.
All the walks of shame were condensed into the hour before parents started showing up. Move out day is so bittersweet
this is the second time in my life i thought i might need to go to rehab. im including all the mornings that i wake up in dewey beach as "the first time"
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
Hint of advice dont get with minor league baseball players, you can google their stats but not their stds.
He literally said to me "go ahead and answer that text message while I eat you out"... Maybe I AM the relationship type...
Dude, this guy showed up with a 40 and stayed for two days. I want that lack of responsibility
He's single. I'm single. We should rekindle our eighth grade romance over a box of wine and carefree sex.
Well at one point he got ahold of my archery gear.. And I. Shit. You. Not. Sarah took an arrow to the knee.
We didn't have sex because he locked himself in the bathroom and passed out while he was taking a shit. I cuddled with his cat.
He actually just looked up and said I'm gonna cum in my pants. and he did. no shame.
So I should just walk in, look him in the eye and say, "I just came to fuck your brother, nice to meet you" and just walk to your room.
Jesus I was next level high last night having a mental epiphany about the state of Virginia
Randomize
