...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
is it true you fucked a yoga instructor last night??! ..and let me know if you want me to post that question on your facebook so kelly can see how happy you are without her
stop changing my ringtone to people fucking, it looks bad at work
I realized i make the same noise when i get a blow job as when i eat pizza
just walked past a girl in her cap and gown puking her brains out beside a tree. her friends were taking pictures of her.
Got kicked out of the baseball game with a 4 officer escort. Not bad for a monday night.
just had to explain to the health center why i wanted 50 condoms a month.
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
Don't get me wrong, the sex itself is amazing, but I don't think I will EVER get used to her habit of singing lines Jesus christ super star when she is about to cum.
Waking up at a teachers house is a very confusing thing
I apologize in advance for the number of sex toys drying on the bathroom sink.
Accidentally searched up "pizza pasties" instead of "pizza pastries". I was not disappointed.
It's like the drive of shame on fucking Christmas. Happy birthday Jesus
I woke up an hour ago with orange fingers and a condom stuck to my head.. Wtf just happened?
Shhh embrace your inner whore. Just embrace it.
Randomize
