We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
I'm at the bar and they've turned up lady gaga to cover the sound of the fire alarm.
I woke up wearing nothing but his lifeguard whistle..
Great News, you CAN smoke bowls with a magnifying glass
These pubs in Ireland act like hand jobs aren't the universal currency
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
My mom just told me to make sure my face isn't on the front cover of the newspaper on 4/21. Challenge accepted
dude chill. we stole 18 hamburgers from her house
no. you cant fuck a burger.
FALSE ALARM! I didn't piss myself, I fell asleep in the shower and then drunkingly crawled into my bed
Well the weed wore off around 10:30 and then the date dragged on until about 1 in the morning. So I've decided I really need to start smoking closer to the actual start time of a date. Then maybe they'd be more bearable.
The sound of my own breathing is making my head throb. That hungover.
You have better ratings than Crest. Only 4/5 dentists recommend it. You have 8/9 recommendation for your blowjob skills.
If you bet guys that you can drink them under the table they will pay for your drinks all night until they pass out. I have this down to a science that I think even my dad would appreciate.
I just woke up with a cowboy hat on my face and a playboy from the 90s on my chest
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
Randomize
