you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
Any day that starts with a call from my ex-bf... crying... is a good day.
we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
I hate to say it, but I think my pandora being Marvin Gaye love songs was the prime reason for the bj last night
I just snuked. Sneezed and puked
I blacked out, started puking and peed on the guy I was hooking up with. Mid hand job.
How old are you? 14? Who gives hand jobs anymore?
Salt in an open wound right now.
i got two bottles of merlot and sorrows to drown, you in??
Why i have shady connections. Owner just txt me asking to come by and judge the new stripper.
Yea... you were given too many get out of jail free cards. God just gave up on you having a healthy and happy vagina.
Between the uncertainly of my bowels today, and the distance the bar is to my house, remember I am doing this for you and our mutual appreciation of alcoholism.
Why can't you just come over, fuck me, then leave so i can get stoned and watch law and order?
You should really look at your snapstory. It has us screaming " MANSION DICK! SUCK IT! FUCK IT!" By the way im currently in a mansion and need you to pick me up
You’d probably be happy to know that I think I’ve mastered the skill of knowing “my type” and then steering clear
FINALLY. I THOUGHT THIS DAY WOULD NEVER COME!
I will literally have glitter in my crotch for weeks.
tell him if he brings over dinner you might let him see your left boob...or right, whichever you prefer. But under no circumstances do you let him see both...unless he brings a good desert...like coffee ice cream or something
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