Spotted: jayne dropping her cigarettes in a puddle...then picking them back up and putting them in her pocket. If i ever get that desperate, stop talking to me
It's just like soggy cereal, but cancerous
That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
Ok. Also I almost just threw up. Seriously. I was think to myself "really? Here? Now? At my work desk?" and then it went away.
i asked if you wanted help changing your sheets after you threw up in bed. you politely declined. i take no responsibility after that.
i love you. like a brother. a brother that i had sex with more than once.
even the AIR tastes like tequila.
The police report said that there were 25 cases of bud light, two hookers fighting in the street, 13 cop cars, and two road blocks, a kid got tazered, another got maced, and over a hundred people in the house
So that means its a bad thing that your dad found it huh?
I just love it. It's warm and soft and the rest of the world is so mean. My bed would never be mean to me
My dad just saw me take dirty one night stand underwear out of my purse. I'm willing to admit I have a problem
He texted "fuck you" before blocking me on all social media. Come to think of it, that's also the last thing my mother said to me. Could it be that I'm the problem?
I came back from England with a face tattoo and the only thing anyone can talk about is my beard.
Still can’t get over the fact that we ate beef jerky off a strip club floor
So you just held his hand and he fucking came...?
I think I'm more excited for Santa to come now that I made a drinking game out of it
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