Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3.
at least the person I hooked up with donates to charity, the shirt I was wearing this morning was his relay for life shirt.
Goddamn you thin people LEAVE FOOD FOR THE BIGGER DRUNKARDS WHO NEED IT
Def just threw up beer then brushed my teeth with some randos toothpaste now back to drinkin beer
Wait. You NEVER used a Dizzy Doodler pen as a vibrator?!?
My therapist keeps stopping to ask what 'hooking up' means
ITS ORAL SEX CAROL
No it's ok I've been talking to the girl at the Chinese restaurant about your dick for the last 20 minutes. I haven't mentioned your name but she thinks she knows you.
Where were you last night, and why am I not surprised that drag queens were involved?
Your cock has been in the back of my throat. Co-worker is no longer a sufficient title. Fix that shit ASAP
girls shouldnt black out with american flag bandaids on their nips
the cuervo was good, but I started with jello shots. and when i threw up a whole jello shot came out.
If you have been drunk at one point during the day and are going to bed sober that same day, something is very wrong.
I feel like you're encouraging me to commit a felony.
I feel like you're wasting time.
Randomize
