Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
does your mom think i'm crazy? i just realized i played both the gay dad and the ex-jew card tonight. i blame the wine
Yeah but if I do that, I'd have to buy my own stomach pump for the house. That doesn't seem like a great thing to have sitting on the coffee table.
I love how you are more concerned with what i call my penis than the fact i wanna bone some high school chicks
Seriously wondering if smoking a bowl for lunch was a bad idea.
OR THE BEST. STAY TUNED.
She saves ONE person's life while blacked out and now she's positive anything can be done "while fucking hammered"
Puked in the trees at home depot, I told everyone it was fertilizeerr
Impressive. I've never gotten straight denied and then chased the guy naked out of my own apt. I'll remember that next time.
Just wanted to let you know it's 3am and, at this point, I believe your sister has more of my semen in her than I do. So suck on that, fuckface.
the last time I drank tequila I ended up riding your skateboard nude down the street... so yeah, I'll have a few shots.
there may have been a blood oath never to speak of it again...only reason i can think of as to why there was a 1 inch bloody cut on my right boob
His status said "sad." of course I liked it. I don't even care that I was the only one. Facebook isn't your god damn journal, we don't care about your problems.
Something I can get at drive through, boobs out, don't want to get out of the car
Does your balding hurt less when a 19 year old holds your hand?
I love you, and I just washed my hair in my work sink with handsoap.
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