Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
Just took career test that listed librarian and bartender as top career choices. Fascinating.
I went to go pee and found a strand of your hair wrapped around my penis.
Don't you hate it when all three people suddenly sober up in the middle of a threesome. Awwwwkward.
It would be been irresponsible not to make cleaning the apartment into a drinking game
Please don't ever try giving my cat a hair cut ever ever again
Well, let me tell you, it was the most vivid sex dream I've ever had. More so than the Paris Hilton one I had in 05. And about as weird.
You did a line of free coke with an obese Slovenian unlicensed cab driver in the toilets of the most questionable strip club in the country. New low man.
When you put it like that, I'm inclined to agree.
I love shooting for the middle. Those girls never wake up well.
I don't know whether to call the hospital or call the prison first.
She keeps asking if I've seen him... For the last time YES... IN MY BED LAST FRIDAY NIGHT AND THEN AGAIN SATURDAY MORNING
I'm gonna play this game called Conquer the Dicks. I think it is self explanatory.
He said I could stop sending ass pics now and just say hello. I'm not sure if that means he's no longer interested, or that he's a gentleman??
"I feel morally obligated to vote for him since he's my drug dealers dad"
Randomize
