Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
grinding to god bless the USA? really?
shut up
I spilled a beer on myself, so I went back to my place to change. The city marshall was at my door with a warrant. That beer cost me 760 bucks.
i mistaked the back of her knee for her vagina
Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
She refered to her bed as the "cockpit"....I understand that this morning.
we were boning in the bathroom when her boyfriend came upstairs. I wish i could remember what happened next more clearly, because it had to have been hilarious
We wore fake mustaches and shirts that said team mustache ride to a party we weren't even invited to
Tiny.
I mean tony. It's like autocorrect knows he wasn't well endowed.
Been in bed for 16 hours. Haven't eaten in 18 hours. Haven't pissed in almost 20 hours. Fuck you Stacey and your former reign as laziest bitch. I got the title now.
Not saying puking on the side of a cab was how I imagined freshman year of med school but...
If I send Ben a tit pic but I do it while wearing a Tom Brady mask is that funny or creepy
I just realized I wasn't at the party anymore. I was just sitting there with a vacuum.
Do u have any idea how hard it is to masturbate in a CVS bathroom when your name is being called over the speakers to pick up a prescription for painkillers?
Dude on a beach in sicily and a blonde jesus just smoked us out and then tried to makeout with me I am never leaving this place
Randomize
