Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
i just woke up naked on my porch, holding the neighbors cat in my arms.
He ate me out and then left in a hurry and shouted "Sorry to dine and dash" as he left my house
she uses eco-friendly sex toys. she is the literal definition of a hippie.
I was just counting ceiling tiles when he ate me out, it was that bad.
How did you get the entire couch up on it's side and into the bathroom?
i left with the words "thank you for undersanding my sluttiness"
Too high to move please buy hi-c and pour it in my mouth in exchange I will marry your first born child
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
Just because I don't want to be her booty call doesn't mean I wanna stop getting tit pics. I'm a sucker for double D's
Oddly enough, the sex change dream i had made me miss you more.
All i really remember is meeting this guy dressed as jesus and i kept taking his wine and saying "the body of christ!"
I also woke up in my friends room to 3 girls and a naked boy on the floor but thats besides the point
Best day ever, my junk is bigger than Kate Uptons boyfriends. Yay for Fappening day!
Want to come over and dangle your tits on top of me like a skewer?
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
Randomize
