the family i'm sitting with looks like the Addams family. Except for the daughter...she looks like Shrek
YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
he is so annoying
so stop sleeping with him
yeah but he is so hot when i'm drunk
Only if you bring Listerine. I can't come home to my husband from a bachelorette party with spermbreath again.
He just told me that he goes squirrel hunting. NO LONGER BANGABLE.
Laurln. I am dying. I am npt alive. Adderrall is not a real thing. Death is a rwal thing which I understandably
After three games of beer pong ending in victory by death cup, all four of us bonded in the fact that we all slept with the girl's boyfriend at some point in time in the past year. She had no idea.
Im in the bathtub drunk. Less than an hour before the interview. This will be the best or worst career move ever., support?
dude, you were feeling up her boob for 20 minutes in front of the guy she was hitting on because you and her had an argument over who had bigger boobs.
hey man, it was for science okay.
Almost there.
define "almost". like I have enough time to watch a youtube video or oh shit, put on some goddamn pants because they're in the driveway.
I'm on the bus, watching a girl shush her balloons.
I'm really sorry I bit your mom last night, it was completely uncalled for.
He said he loved me more than Kel loves orange soda
the result of growing up in the '90's
The sad moment you remember you have no power for a week and can't flush.....
Wrong number bro but that sounds like a damn shame.
Randomize
