Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
i just threw up a quarter into the urinal in the bathroom at the bar. everybody else stared then cheered. that drunk
I swiped a lunchable and a gatorade from my one night stand's fridge, does it count as a date now since a meal was included?
You know it was a challenge blowing out the candles. It was hard to think of a wish, while drunk, with a concussion.
We wore fake mustaches and shirts that said team mustache ride to a party we weren't even invited to
I think my hookup is starting to fall for me. Time to break his heart.
Hey, if I'm gonna bastard a child and ruin his life, I'm going balls out.
Once I hang curtains in my truck bed that'll be feasible
I cried at the bar for 30 minutes because I got my arm stuck in my sweater. I got free drinks for the rest of the night after the bartender helped me.
Cheese, the small of a woman's back, the universe, mountains, vampiric demons, sleep, and dreams.
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
STOP BUYING ALADDIN PANTS WITH MY AMAZON CREDIT CARD
We went to the midnight donut shop and you hopped the counter and told everyone to "Get the Fuck out of your Bar" but to also "Make yourselves at home".
Get ready for me I'm full of tequila and I want to be full of you next
Randomize
