He came all over my face... then said "YOU HAVE BEEN ROBBED!"
What's this douchebags name?
Rob...
he just left. I blew him in my kitchen while my parents slept down the hall. Welcome back home!
Her gay brother kept hitting on me and cockblocking me. Don't even begin to tell me how bad your night was.
remember that response paper i wrote naked, at 745am still drunk with a naked dude in my bed? yeah, totally got an a- on that. and he loved my insight.
the ceiling is raining jello shotss
no one is here. wer drinking in the beer garden in the dark and we stole a bucket of blue paint off the sidewalk. now her legs are blue.
I may or may not have traded sexual favors for Disney on Ice tickets.
We should invent fake asshair for you to wear so you can experience my pain for a day.
Toilet is so comfy. Serious question/why does weed make every surface feel like bed?
You rolled around in the grass BEFORE we went in and said it was because "ladies love that eau de earth"
We lost a condom inside me, I had to fish it out. The next day he gave me a Gone Fishin' bumper sticker. True love at its finest.
List 10 things your GF won't do for you, and we can work through that list.
A stranger came up to me, pointed at my drink and asked what it tasted like and proceeded to chug half of it and then walked away.
Did my roommate wake up in your girlfriend's apartment in drag again?
there's a 50/50 chance the night will end in alcohol-induced rituals of satanic nature
Randomize
