So, I woke up to an empty bottle of scotch and a dead car. The last thing I remember are the strippers being mad at me. Awesome night.
Feels good to be wearing underwear again though...
Miss Michigan hasn't even been Miss USA for 24hrs and already stripper pole pics are surfacing. Classy.
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
i tied my phone to a string attached to my bra. i am NOT losing it tonight
There are two women in my bed. I'm gonna have a bowl of noodles so I can better understand my success.
A dry HJ only, please. I don't deserve the comforts of lube after my horrendous fantasy football performance
Is that a question you really want to ask or do you just want to tell you that I can't walk without feeling like my legs are collapsing underneath me
It's shark week go big or go home
shut up and let me use my vagina as a weapon of self destruction in peace!
I can't find my keys and there's a hotdog in my purse.
So I've decided that blue balls for lesbians is rainbow balls and the struggle is real
I haven't had sex since the Vanilla Ice concert
Please don't have sex ever again just so you can say that forever.
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
He had me sit on his face until I begged him to stop, then held me there 5 minutes longer. I rested my head on his chest, told him I needed time to recover....and slept for 6 hours. By the time I woke, he was already at work. I just sent him a countdown times until his shift is over.
Randomize
