They left shortly after you claimed the dirty rug as your mattress and began alternating between singing "Dayman" and "Nightman"
I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
Just because he saw my boobs doesn't mean he knows me all of a sudden
Yeah, she tried to drown her but then they hooked up.
The security guard told you that the room was off limits and you just looked at him and said,"Its okay, I have a beard".
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
I'm not so good at organized events that don't revolve around whiskey or playgrounds.
This body was not built to go to the gym. It was built to chain smoke cigarettes and shoot whiskey
they wouldnt let me drive the convertible because i was in a bird suit :(
Bitch guess who just got a fucking taser
The friend zone. He put me in the friend zone. But said he still wants me to suck his dick. I'm in the dick sucking friend zone and I want to die.
The guy who said he's gonna suck your butthole till your face caves in is at Maggie's
she stuffed her marc jacobs purse full of cereal
classy
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
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