she's about as cool as a sandpaper handjob.
I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
The cab driver just finished telling me how leaving community college after one month was the best desicion he ever made.
sometimes i wish i could find another girl that loves my dick as much as she does
i feel like she has dreams of it being like a person saying hey lets go play
Dude feel your hair right now it feels so weird like pasta
not to mention it took an hour of antique roadshow to calm my dick down
Note to self glow in the dark nail polish can be quite the mood killer during sex especially when you notice its working for the first time and you stop everything your doing to do spirit fingers
According to the red cross, I'm not suppose to do anything strenuous for the next 24 hours. That means you're on top.
I'd have paid money to see Cookie Monster playing with a vibrator
I can't believe I ever hated her sister or friends. They got her some sexy sexy ass lingerie for the honeymoon. I think I love them bitches
Did we smoke in a portapotty last night? And if so, do you think the brown stuff covering my body is actually dirt?
I think you just described to us the most perfect drunken fairy tale that has somehow never been written
No? The only contact I've had with him for months was when I drunk texted him from Costa Rica to say that all jazz sounds the same
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
I just found my phone after looking for it since yesterday afternoon it was in the fridge.
Randomize
