Do you need to be saved?
No I think I'm God
if another girl says "im usually cleaner down there" I'm just going to shoot myself
We all have a cross to bear. Yours just happens to be attracting gay men.
He wore a Medeval Times crown while I gave him a BJ
wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen
walk of shame to my ortho appointment. kids are staring. this little girl just asked her mom if she can havr glitter in her hair too.
you know you've had too much sex when your vagina hurts when you laugh
Due to last night I think a roommate constitution should be made. The first law will be designed to prevent any chicks below a 4 to enter the house.
I just paid for weed by taking him to the store to buy cheese so he could make empanadas. Best. Drug deal. Ever.
Is it weird that my ex and the dude I'm talking to now both only have one testicle? Apparently I've found my type..
Googling enemas while I get a pedicure ... My life in one senence
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
Did u guys seriously make a betting pool on when im going to get pregnant???
Yep, wanna bid?
It's been THREE DAYS. Why do I still have the munchies?!
I should not have moved in with him. He's got porn stashed everywhere like a homosexual squirrel.
You love porn!
Not in the sugar bowl when I'm making my Mom coffee I don't.
Randomize
