YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
The guy next to me is watching porn. EVERYTIME I COME TO THE LIBRARY SOME RANDOM GUY NEXT TO ME LOOKS AT PORN.
I almost didn't recognize her with a shirt on.
Imagine if sharks could walk on land...scary.
Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
Katy Perry is on a Proactiv commercial. That "I kissed a girl" shit is so much less hot now.
It's underwear night and I am literally in the bar wearing nothing but underwear and flip flops.
She said she's saving anal for marriage cuz she has to save something for her husband...seriously just caught myself lookin at rings.
She seriously pointed at the couch and asked me if she could "ride the talking giraffe". I'll never serve everclear again.
oh wow I have been there. Hell one time Matt and I woke up naked with pizza rolls in the bed.
Hey, i turned the toilet into a water fountain. Drink up.
Wake up. Finish House of Cards. Put on pants.
Accurate.
Slept with the roommate last night and also discovered that she believes in eugenics. I may need to slow down my drinking
I JUST AGREED TO GO TO A CHILD'S BIRTHDAY PARTY AT A PLACE CALLED PUZZLE'S FUN DOME WHY DO I HATE MYSELF
Just got a handjob in my psych lecture. You were right, going to class is paying off.
Randomize
