Did u get laid? I went and bought lube and fleshlighted it while moaning ur name the whole time.
how do we leave politely?
Tell them I'm going into labor. I will spill a beer and tell them m water broke.
The only thing that would make my night better is if William Shatner came and read me a bedtime story.
I just found three unopened cans of PBR behind our futon that I think I was saving for winter.
If you're still awake, how rude would it be if I masturbated in her new apartment on moving day? If you're asleep, then ask me how it was.
I made him ride the giant pony statue in my friends little sisters room before i let him get in the bed.
let's be real here, you have a beautiful vagina. this kid is a doctors son. that's a remedy for beautiful rich grandkids. he is just trying water his family tree, and make sure he doesn't end up in some piece of shit adult home. go for it.
I can't wait for you to see these terrible photos I'm about to have taken with some stripper looking girls. I don't know what this photographer is thinking
Dude she hit me with my own penis and it hurt. I've never been cock slapped but she slapped me with my own cock so it has to be worse.
Is it rude if I don't go?
No. It is not rude if you don't go to her cat's Star Wars themed birthday party.
The next time you fuck up, your grandma sees your dick pics
I just walked past a guy banging a chick in the back of his car.
Am I required to send a Christmas card to my fuck buddy?
I saw a penis covered in glitter tonight.
While the cops were busting my party one of them said. O you have an Xbox? Do you play online? Whats your gamertag?....
Randomize
