hotel room ftw
I'm sitting at the gyno watching cnn in the waiting room
Everyone is walking funny when they come out, ugh I'm not looking forward to this
bras are like tupperware for tits, keeps em fresh.
how does a 20 year old who hasnt gone through puberty yet score the game winning goal? fuck sidney crosby and his small nuts.
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
A few things for you to consider: 1. Drunk enough that I'm looking up the dictionary definition of Wish. 2. Dictionary.com has new features. 3. Windows is offering me 500 business cards for 5 bucks. 4. I've always wanted a card that says I'm a ninja
We drove around last night shotting fireworks out the window while they had sex in the back of his car
sorry bout that man. went out to pay the pizza boy, ended up hooking up with some random drunk girl that thought i was someone else
Why on earth is he slamming his body into the wall again?
Everyone was passed out so I turned off the lights and locked all the doors. I also took the chicken sandwich in the microwave as payment.
I'm just trying to absorb as much of the fluids from the carpet as I can.
I am on top of a rooftop peeing on your freedom
All I remember is sitting on your kitchen floor and playing with a banana like it was a viking ship.
It is such a beautiful day to not be arrested
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
Randomize
