Im mastering the way to pass gas silently.
cheating on your boyfriend is the best diet ever, I've barely eaten in days. The guilt is killing me
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
You Were screaming "Im trying to get it in" and "stop cock blocking" while i threw you in the car
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
wait no I wore my bra home that morning. I stole someone's bra last night?
We met a guy named Raymond. You called him ramen all might and told him you would eat him up, "like sex, on a budget."
I feel like a Europe failure cause I'm coming home from the club at 3:30 and so many people are just arriving... Wtf? 3:30am People! Drink earlier!
It's a Tuesday.
fond memories of taking my pregnancy test here in this Burger King
Like the friend zone has no room for winks
She told me she was the Publishers Clearing House of Dicks. Two dicks a day, everyday for life.
like I licked Molly off a boys palm last night at a bar I think its ok to eat chicken once a week
I had sex in an engineering office last night. So that could be your life. I was mounted on top of a sketch of a future parking lot for a maintenance building. If that's not romantic, idk what is
I made a booty call at 3:30 am on a Monday... I think I just became the ultimate female fuckboy. I don't know whether to be ashamed or get myself a trophy.
I'm really busy with my period
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