weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
I don't think I own any pants that haven't seen his bedroom floor anymore...
We've been here 3 hours and the only 1 word answer she didn't give was the drink order. Don't think I'm getting laid tonight
Hardly remember what he looks like and the man has seen me passed out spread eagle. I begin this journey with such a disadvantage.
That bitch ruined vodka saturday
Well the police had to intervene and I couldn't exactly feel my legs by the end of the night, but I'd say it was a successful Friday night.
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
Atlanta road trip update. Jimmy fell into the petting tank at the aquarium. And freaked out. With cops now... Keep you posted
I can't handle dick pics with conversational captions
Also, sorry about chilling in just the towel last night. You know I have ADD and somehow even after looking at you, I forgot I'm not the only person living there right now
Like the fear of satan was put into my heart when I saw him put that sandwich on the WOODEN BENCH
Im pretty sure breakfast wine is a thing, and if it isn't, I just invented it
I'm hungry and horny. DEADLY COMBINATION.
I ate at the cafeteria for the first time yesterday and today I think I had an hour long fart.
Randomize
