Whenever he makes me dinner its always mini things.. cheeseburgers, corndogs.. is he preparing me for something?
Last night I ate the rest of the salsa with my hands. And i DONT have a hangover? Glorious.
cracked out the beer snorkel again. that thing has a five for five record of getting me naked.
wore my lacy blue thong that says "hello there" across the front today for my gynecologist appointment. I live to make people uncomfortable
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
You're making her cookies in enchange for knitting lessons. You will die a virgin.
The bad decision stars are too close to aligning to risk this tonight.
Your roommate is pacing with a pen in his mouth flapping like a duck. That brownie got me fucked but not enough to understand this. Come back!
He does that
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
I found my grandmother's vibrator, how was your day?
After we finished having sex, he drunkenly tried to hugh five me, farted, then accused me of stealing his socks.
Dude, he danced with the dog that some random chick was carrying at the bar. Then the dog jumped out of his arms and ran away. THAT definitely deserves a drink.
Earlier today I was eating cookie dough from a tube, now I'm laying naked next to a hot guy watching Pawn Stars in between orgasms. You really can have it all.
I need to stop acting like a porn star that isn't getting paid
He’s really fucking cute. Like, I want his penis in my mouth cute.
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