I want 2 things right now, you or a cig
cig
he just texted me two pictures of his dick. i feel i should rethink whatever vibe im obviously giving out
so is it as big as he says?
he put a tube of toothpaste next to it as a reference. it looks legit
We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
We stole your phone last night, texted your brother and told him you wanted it up the ass by him. All he said was "I want ur money."
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
We interrupt your regularly scheduled Saturday morning programming with this important announcement: you are not the father. I repeat not the father. Congratulations and have a nice day.
The stripper just invited me to take shots with him out at his car after he gets off stage.. I mean why not? I've already seen everything he's got and it'll be easy to get him naked.
I've shit my pants 4 times in 12 hours... Never trust a fart when u pass 30
I promised him we could have sex if he would let me take him to the hospital to get stitches.
sexting while watching Peter Pan the Musical! something just doesn't seem right here
I just need to get a little drunker before I realize I'm not straight
I got a gay guy to motorboat me. These tits could change the world, I'm telling you.
I feel so accomplished. I've cleaned my room, done laundry, called those places, gotten jobs, and masturbated.
I'm so proud of you.
It seems that I didn’t convey clearly enough how well and truly fucked we are, Jack. Listen to me very closely: we are DEAD.
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