covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
Friends don't let friends fuck ugly girls. WALK AWAY FROM HER!
So I decided to start saving money for my abortion in a tomato sauce jar because it says ‘Prego.’ I know I thought it was fucking genius!
He went soft
Wait. During?
Yeah, he was IN. MY. MOUTH.
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
If her picture on my phone wasn't mostly of her breasts, I'd never pick up the phone when she calls.
i should not be allowed to orgasm that much in one day.
Just fucking put out. It'll be a good lay, promise. Stop being a prude. Damn it. A boy is trying to put his penis in you. APPRECIATE IT.
His response today determines what state my vagina will be in this weekend.
She has either a C-Section scar or a bullet wound, I can't quite tell
We need to make tonight low-budget
Is this your way of suggesting flasks?
I left after he drunkenly went into the kitchen and started to make eggs with a shitload of garlic. First time I'd ever had a makeout session interrupted by eggs.
well, i found him passed out on a picnic table two miles away with a lit cig in his hand...he had a rough night
ya well i woke up to my roommate spraying me with windex...
Holy shit he’s stupid hot! If you don’t hurry up and make a move my ovaries are going to march over there and introduce themselves
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