I think horse shit smells the best of all shits.
I was so drunk that I didn't realize he was staying at the Waldorf. I walk of shamed the Astoria, do you even know what this means?
You know, there is no convenient place for your beer when you are on shrooms taking a shower.
I just blurted out "it's pretty tight isn't it"
She had YOLO tattooed on her ass. Like, one cheek said YO, the other said LO. Even I can't handle that level of hot mess.
After everything you did, you followed it with "Oh God, that's something a high person would do. But I'm not high." So yeah, you're not getting near my stash again.
You got me so high that I almost couldn't leave my house for a bar because there was nothing to lean against on the way there
Just so you know my hand is still healing from where you drunkenly clawed me last Saturday
Can I tell you that I just incorporated the spice girls in my sexting and you not judge me
like don't tell me my baby smooth vag offended you
Do you think showing up at his door with bourbon and chicken is too forward?
Between the deep breathing and nipple piercings , I thought I was in the twilight zone
A legendary roster of degenerates has been assembled.
nyquil+orgasm=very intense and oddly interesting
Okay, but that still doesn't explain all the glitter in my puke.
Randomize
