i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
i'm sure there's a big cosmic reason for things working out the way they did. like, now you have awesome images to masturbate to.
You know its been a rough night when you wake up and the first thing you remember is your mom going skinny dipping.
i just realized the only form of arm exercise i get is holding my arms up in the stand up tanning booth
Me and a lesbian played "may the best man win" over a bi chick tonight... I lost, still fun though
We are doing handstands and somersaults in the pool. With an inflatable beer pong table and our regular beer pong table. We're ponging by land and by sea
I love your family. Oh. And on a completely unrelated note, I know where we can steal a dog.
You grabbed her hand and started jacking her finger off. She was horrified.
Did it finish?
There is a dude in a thong with a Nerf axe having battles in the street. Welcome to Portland
want to know what my life has come to? I just took a 45 min shower banging on the walls and making loud sex noises so my neighbors think I get some.
She said she wouldn't get out of hand. When the cops showed up she jumped off the 4ft high porch and fell into a ditch. She then buried herself because she was wearing light pants and though the light from the cops flashlights would reflect off her pants. We couldn't find her for 40 minutes.
There's always a silver lining when massive voluptuous tits are involved
Would it kill us to punctuate. That last text took me 5 min to read
It's become almost a Pavlovian response. The sound of the vacuum being run by hubby causes an instantaneous involuntary orgasm.
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
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