He looks like a mix between a retired piano teacher and a cat that just swallowed a sock.
Is it a bad that I spent my 5 year anniversary with my husband texting my ex boyfriend?
Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
The little penguins are speaking with a hispanic accent. I dont know how to feel about it. Geographically speaking, this cant be possibly. This isnt cool.
she said she's never had and orgasm AND she's a cubs fan...ouch.
please come over and have sex with me so we can talk about prom and kill 2 birds with one condom
I cant believe you went home with her.. Your poor immune system and the shit you put it through.
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
You might have crossed the line by jerking off while she was in the bathroom taking a prego test. Just saying
Your text makes more sense read in reverse.
We're so stoned that were both cuddling on the couch and crying over Forest Gump while eating popcorn. She asked me if I'd fuck away the sadness. I think she's serious.
i found you laying on the floor staring at the ceiling and you kept muttering "why" in various inflections.
Why was I so drunk last night that I licked the bar and then the bartenders face? Why didn't you stop me? We can never go back there.
Thank you for coming with me today. I find it appropriate that we celebrated my negative pregnancy test with slurpees and donuts.
Randomize
