he said "you're pretty" then i made out with him. thats all it took
Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
this is hardly the first time i've been told i'm dressed "too suggestively" for 7 in the morning.
I think she's a little more wasted than usual. She just crawled on the floor to tell mom it was time to take a shot.
He asked if I wanted to leave my bra on while we were doing it from behind bc he read somewhere that all that pounding can be painful for big breasts. THAT thoughtful.
I really think we need to get on this Charlie Sheen bandwagon
The floor and the wall just switched. I'm falling.
No. I'm wrapped up in my sheets like a burrito. Carry me
Because you stood over the Ice luge screaming STONE COLD and poured beer on everyone
Duuuuuuuude, I need you to sleep with my girlfriend so I can tell you both to move out
I LIKE NICE BOXERS OKAY!? COMBINED WITH A GLORIOUS DICK JUST MAKES THIS EVEN BETTER. WE MOVE IN TOGETHER AND THAT PIC'S GETTIN FUCKING FRAMED.
I got his number because he was "impressed with how much I could handle"...I was chasing shots with Olive Garden breadsticks...
Can't be like "hey can you elaborate on this three year old tweet" can I?
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
I'm sorry, but the bed has won this battle. I got up, changed my shirt, combed my hair, put on some deodorant, and then looked at my bed and got back in
Randomize
