so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
some girl had on jean underwear. i hate america.
Can we progress our friendship to a point where i'm at least granted a blowjob allowance?
He showed me a four inch blond hair that grows out of his side. He calls it his little ray of sunshine. Please come get me.
just had cupcakes and mountain dew for dinner-now i'm playing super mario brothers. 10 year olds all over the world would kill to be me.
mom and dad sent me an easter basket full of beer pong supplies again.
Someone wrote "gnarballz" on my fridge in black marker. I'm pissed, but more concerned I slept with the one who did it
Hey douche face I just want you to know, if you ever got hit by a bus, I'd really miss you.
Only if you died obviously.
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST
we need to tell them stories about when happens when we're sober so they think they know what they're in for when they're actually completely unprepared for whn happens when we get drunk
Well statistically J has a 1 in 3 chance of hospitalization when downtown
And a 3 for 3 for disapeearing
Nice. I like it when Maker's Mark makes decisions for you.
I told him no rough stuff and he immediately bit my ass. Who the fuck does that?
Pretty sure I got pink eye from the strip club. There is also still beer cans rattling around in my shower.
Holding your hair back while you puked wasn't a choice. I was handcuffed to you.
Randomize
