is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
Sometimes I forget to take my socks off when I masturbate. This always makes me feel like I'm accidentally in a porn.
I'm a terrible person. There are two guys speaking sign language on the metro platform and at first I thought they were drunk and doing a silly dance.
The door to door salesmen do not expect you to be drunk at 3 in the afternoon
RIGHT?!?! I'M ACTUALLY UPSET I DON'T GET TO MAKE THE 2.3 MILE TREK TO SUCK HIS COCK, yes I google earthed it.
she's living proof man. somebody has literally pissed in the gene pool
Dude best one night stand i woke she was cleaning our fridge while waiting for the cab to show
Bro, I just googled 36 year old pussy so when I do see it I won't be shocked.
Best part of Friday afternoon drinking? Having ping pong balls thrown into my cleavage.
Just rolled up a joint with a cop standing right beside me. He just told us to not leave behind any garbage or empties. God I love canadian camping
Omg how many tall cans is too many tall cans for 1 pm
I am at a new level of appreciation for drunk-you, who threw up into her own sweatshirt pocket last night in the car. Brava.
Nothing says "Hello, Adulthood!" quite like receiving a dick photo at 11AM from a guy you haven't heard from since fifth grade.
Stranded. In bathroom stall. No toilet paper. I repeat NO TOILET PAPER! Assistance needed asap. GO! GO! GO!
I was peer pressured into smoking weed by a bunch of LGBTQ teenagers
Randomize
