Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
Knee deep in strippers, everything is comped. will try hard to be there at 8. i promise.
dude.. you lit a cigarette on the bus and told the driver it was okay because you were fire marshall of your boy scout troop
if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
Her friend drew me a diagram of how we could get away with her giving me a blowjob at work.
maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later
I'm on strict orders from her to keep sleeping with you until you give her a job next summer.
how are you shocked you fucked her? sure shes hot, but she also washed your beerpong balls in her mouth..... you should probably get tested.
the night probably should have been over when the guy let her fill out my mechanical bull waver for me because i couldn't read
I spent the money she owed me on enough magnum condoms to make a blimp. Damn right I'm going to make the best of it.
I can feel my teeth in 4 dimensions. I shouldnt be this high at 8 in the morning.
he started frosting cupcakes and licking the mini-spatula realllllly deliberately and i don't know if i'm more attracted to him or the cupcakes
You would only karaoke to Spanish songs, but sang with the accent of the french candle stick in beauty and the beast.
Her car is covered in frozen vomit, and she lost her iPhone. I'm also pretty sure I smoked crack last night. Rest in peace 2014.
dude, shes trippin so bad. idk what shes on, she just told me she doesnt remember her name then proceeded to get in the shower clothed to try to "rinse off the high"
Randomize
