Holy wow, I found all the old poems u wrote me back when we were in looooooooove...just sort of wild to look back on, thought u'd like that
thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
NEVER shave your cleavage hair.
on a brighter note, the strip club found my atm card
its family weekend so i'm givin my little bro a tour of everywhere ive thrown up on campus
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
Picture this: me driving down 183 throwing up into a towel. I just hit rock bottom.
Okay. I am working on pulling a tooth out of my mouth. Call me.
I have 7 papers to write and I already bought gas station ice cream in my pjs and questioned whether or not a beer float was a thing.
who is that guy in your bed? he looks like jesus..way to keep it festive
If I show up to the mall alone looking like I do to purchase a vibrator and some Japanese food, I would judge me too.
The sex was so good I feel like I could run a triathlon, hit big at the casino, and defeat ISIS.
Do you think it would be okay if i cleaned my cartilage piercing with the leftover vodka?
I got drunk and bought a house last night. Also, I threw up on Mike's lawn. I'm pretty excited about one of those two things.
Imagine we only get one cock for the rest of your life. I’d pick his dick. That good!
Randomize
