i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
Last night my friend tried to make out with me in an olive garden. Ahahah
Nothing says 'I love you' like never ending salad and breadsticks
I just made this asian woman on the boardwalk that was giving 20 dollar massages upset after I asked her if a happy ending comes with it.
currently walking past a fire hyrdrant with a hose already attatched.. this could be dangerous..
This soccer player girl is eating this banana WAY to slow. Too early for penis shaped foods.
Left for charity run at 5AM. Saw a pigeon eating last night's vomit and a pair of shame-walkers in high heels. Nature at it's finest.
No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
My sister got her picture in the pub crawl section of the paper today and my dad said to me "why can't you be more like her?"
Wonderful brian is stoned out of his mind, floating in a lawn chair in the hot tub eating a giant plate of macaroni and staring at the moon
I just wanted to warn you I have strep throat incase I gave it to that guy we both hooked up with on New Years.
Also just throwing this out there I don't think anyone who brings another girl back to your bed to share with you can qualify as a frigid bitch
Just try not to have a boner when you're giving your best man speech, it will really kill the vibe
Idk how much of a virgin he is but I'm tryna find out.
What did we do last night and why in the fuck were there carrots in my pocket?
isnt it crazy how for years we were living our owns lives, and now only a wall seperates us?
stop. eating. my. shrooms.
Randomize