When the cops come you probably shouldn't be poking cars with a stick.
I might have to break the "you stay out of my sister and ill stay out of yours" pact that i have with tim
Just thought to myself "I should practice shotgunning a beer before Wednesday." I don't think my GPA is going to like this semester.
hungover and i feel like a burrito
like eating one or like you are one?
like i am one.
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
So take that alcohol. I still win. I ALWAYS WIN. Plus i didn't have to wear clothes. DOUBLE WIN.
Totally forgot Mike has only one ball. Is it sad I'm excited to see it? Or shall I say the lack of it?
our relationship was basically a one night stand, with a three week long, morning after
If it makes you feel any better, I'm eating a block of cheese...
It was bitter sweet because I woke him up with sex but then I peed in his bed with him in it
My soul is telling me that I need to take this exam naked.
I just bout myself an edible arrangement for myself and had it delivered to work. I even wrote myself a note. This is a new low for me.
He is a sex God. It lasted more than an hour, and I don't remember how many times I came. I lost count at 57.
Okay I'm officially a Texan now, I banged a dude with cowboy boots
Thanks a lot dude. I'm grateful to you for your gift of pure piss.
Randomize
