he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
So they call this "a walk of shame" but fuck that...this walk is fantastic. What kind of debbie downer came up with that name?
Don't worry. I just took 2 benadryls and beat off. I'm practically sleep texting
Ah, the precious few moments between when i wake up and when i realize why i'm sleeping on a treadmill.
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
I'm not sure what happened last night, but my turtle seems afraid of me.
I have bruises everywhere. I think I took "the drinks are strong" as more of a challenge than a warning.
that freshman chick we always see on the weekends walked into art class wearing a jaegermeister shirt and holding a monster, which she proceeded to shotgun with a pair of scissors. It sickens me to know I will never achieve her level
You have not lived until you have drunkenly grinded on your mother. Daughter of the year right here.
I send out my deepest condolences for seeing my ass last night.
Thank you <3 he just looked at me, fist bumped me, and asked me what was on my titty....we may cut her off
He said he looked out his window and I was sitting in the grass with blood everywhere talking to a dog.
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
You threw a handful of caps into a pitcher of Heineken and asked everyone if they wanted to go "bobbing for molly"
I AHVE A WINE BUCKETTTTTTT
Randomize