Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
my mom and grandma just had a splits competition. slut runs in the family
I realize now that I left my pants on that table in the downstairs bathroom at you house on Tuesday....
if i find out your the one who pierced my belly button im going to fuck your sister again
If she says "This is how acid feels" one more time I'm never trip-sitting them again.
I can feel my moral fiber fraying.
I say we start a new tradition. I came up with it all by myself. It's called work out, lay out, black out
I'm 11 for 13 getting drunker than the person who's birthday it is
google maps should a have a setting for this. like I AM ABANDONING EVERYTHING TO MEET A GIRL WHO IS 10 HOURS OF MILES AWAY. HOW DO WE DO THIS OPTIMALLY?
It may not have seemed like it to you, but I was very sad that I was cheating on my GF with you. I was crying on the INSIDE.
You caught me at a bad time. I'm stoned enough that I'm ready to sleep but also not stoned enough that I wanna smoke again but also stoned enough to not wanna drive anywhere
*jedi mind trick* you want to go down on me
I tried to get the guy I like to “spit shake” on a sexual bet... why am I such a bro fml
She started crying because the Rugrats grew up
No. I'm home alone and 100% dickless. I hate my life.
Randomize