I'm pretty hammered, I'll elaborate tomorrow
the recession has oofficially hit my standards.
There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
I don't know what you drank last night but you really enjoyed the 4 egg body shots.
Maybe I'm a robot.
You can't be that drunk already
Stripper with the black hair and lip rings is still asleep. Found out she wasn't lying when she said she was a squirter, it was like splash mountain.
Math equation of the day: 4 waffles + 1 bowl of weed = 1 terrific nap
The dopest dose you'll ever dose. I felt like an octopus all of thursday
Also, I've found a new way to get drunk at work for free. Everytime I make a bushwhacker and there's extra... I put it in a cup. Its the Never ending drink.
Will that be creepy to wake him up at midnight with my tongue all over his body??
I drew you a picture of Jesus holding hands with Frida Kahlo as a token of my gratitude
She said she forgot something.. and when she came out she was carrying a garden gnome, and a bottle of vodka. she was too hot to question it.
No fair. I need a fuck buddy to entertain me till the power comes back on
why do i have a pole dance champion shot glass?
Look get the dick out ur mouth and answer the phone
Randomize
