I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
Isn't the perk of being in a relationship not having to put in effort for sex?
Pretending to be straight requires way more energy than I'm willing to use in this heat.
she "accidentally" hit me with her car, its almost as if she know im fucking her boyfriend.
There are parrots here and they're headbanging to the music. There's also a clown and a pit bull that can jump onto tables. Too high for this shit.
Ok, was I really fucked up or was there a chick from Norway in the ice cream shop teaching us Norwegian last night?
My mascara kind of smells like tequila to me...Is this my body crying for help or asking for a shot?
Between my sister puke and rallying at the bar and my brother sending a drunk passed out naked pic in which his dick was exposed, I don't know which sibling to be more proud of this weekend.
Why did you just send me a picture of your dinner?
CAUSE LOOK HOW MUCH SPAGHETTI I'M EATING
Last week in my political science paper I quoted the Mighty Ducks. This week, I compared the Constitution to a weird pickle law in Connecticut (by law, it's not a pickle unless it bounces). So, yeah, clearly I'm ready to be back to being a college student.
I dare you to find another dealer that delivers bud to your home along with deep fried vegan burritos
Did you leave it the depths of Magic Mike's favorite banana hammock?
Just threw up in the trash can at my desk. I guess "beating the hangover" eventually leads to this.
I AM GONNA CUM EVERYWHERE TONIGHT BRO.
I'd say I was is in rare form last night but it's becoming pretty common.
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