Superbowl + Mdma, hope we're on the same page.
I said I wanted my dignity back. He brought my thong to me after sharpie-ing "dignity" on the front. I'm not sure if I should me mad or impressed.
I woke up on a raft in a bath tub filled with beer. excellent night.
Considering the last guy I had sex with was gay, this was a huge improvement.
WHY ARE YOU SMOKING WEED WHEN YOU JUST HAD A STROKE. AND MORE IMPORTANTLY WHY ARE YOU DOING IT WITHOUT ME.
It's a sit down to pee kind of hangover
He tried to convince me that it wasn't really that small and all he had to do was pull back the groin fat. It was still small.
How do I have sand in my vagina if we were an hour away from the beach?
Some nights you just end up digging your mcdouble out of the trash and eating it. it happens.
Goodnight Shia. Goodnight Moon.
are you fucking roseanne barr in there?
I refuse to go to a doctor for a sex injury, not when I've come so far already
My boobs smell like weed again. This happens way too often.
it wasnt weird until his dog watched upclose as i put a tampon in
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
Randomize
