I don't know what's more sad: The fact that he fingered the side of my leg, or the fact that the side of my leg feels like a vagina.
I'm sweating while I eat mac and cheese. That fat.
I've slowly been stuffing french fries down his pants. I'm at 31 and he hasn't even noticed.
The world isn't going to end because you slept with him!
... that would be easier though.
You haven't had the true md experience until you've had your crotch grabbed by a drunk stripper with a snaggle tooth in front of your coworkers.
I woke up in the ER. This living like theres no tomorrow really could mean theres no tomorrow.
sea world and a strip club? BEST DAY EVER!
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
I'm doing running of the bulls tomorrow at 7am...except in New Orleans roller derby girls chase you.
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
Shaving your bikini line at 11 at night in the Walmart bathroom feels trashy no matter why you're doing it.
My morning started with my mom giving me the number for a substance abuse councellor. How's your day going?
I never thought I'd have to apologize for tasting like absinthe and cheetos before tonight
What's life without a pregnancy scare?
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