She got kicked off the plane and spent the last four hours in a holding cell with the feds.
but she's really nice
dude, i think i am in a porno. I was working out at the hotel gym and some chick was doing yoga and a guy comes up and says "good, now i know your flexible" then they started making out. WTF?
I wouldn't call it sex. It's like when you put a plug in a socket half way. It's not all the way in but it still turns on the light.
got hammered last night, woke up this morning to 38 texts that varied from "you fucking asshole" to "i can be there in 10 minutes"
I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
I couldn't walk, so he carried me all the way home; and then I told him that I wasn't drunk enough to fuck him. Poor kid.
The woman exiting the men's room tried convincing me she was actually a good-looking man.
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
Her life is filled with shit luck. Its like mother nature is having her period and just taking it out on her specifically.
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
Beer acquired. Food is cooking
Wow, you are almost sliding into home plate for some stellar fellatio
No one should ever have to Neosporin their nipples. At least he apologized.
I just realized I donated our bong to goodwill.. RIP Kimbo Slice
You suck, She hit so hard.
I had to give myself a suppository. That was the LEAST fun I've had inserting things in my ass.
Just cuz u chase vodka with sweet tea doesn't make it sweet tea vodka
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