she just waddled down the stairs behind me and puked and kind of reached for me but i sped up. does that make me a bad person?
she refuses to pay for the plan b and so do i. it's the most dangerous game of chicken i've ever been involved in. but i have my pride.
It was scary, we all screamed. Never make mimosas in a car.
All I remember is you introducing yourself to the entire basketball team using the line "I'll show you a slam dunk."
thanks for paying me in special brownies...but brownies dont pay the rent...anymore.
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
This guy randomly got in our taxi, and has now collapsed on the sofa anouncing that he's staying the night.
I just put bacon on a thin mint and enjoyed the shit out of it. I better not be fucking pregnant.
Have you picked out a bathroom stall in which to fuck? Since you've got all this free time before her plane lands...
Please send pictures of any nice new years ladies you run across in town, as I've forgotten what women look like.
I'm talking to this guy I met online about French toast. I am the oddest fucking combination of hungry and horny. Wtf brain.
Just whisper "I fucked your boyfriend" in her ear and be done with it.
He's smoked my weed, stolen my cigarettes, and used my campus cash, but I try to initiate sex and NOWWW he's all "As your RA, that's a line I can't cross"
I should've known a straight guy wouldn't know all the words to Moana
FINE. BE CELIBATE AND ACCUMULATE CATS. SEE IF I CARE.
Randomize
