Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
There are thorn wounds on my balls, don't ever question my dedication to party again
I got drunk and smashed his tv with the keg and so he blames me for being evicted.
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
He just came in my nostril. Never look down when a guy is pulling out during missionary.
you two started sword fighting with 3 ft tall spruce trees you pulled out of planters
dude, apparently i tried to force feed my grandma bananas last night.
His tongue was like Jesus himself was blessing my boobs for eternal ecstasy.
I'm not so sure Jesus approves of such activities, but ok.
I think shooting the BMW with the bow and arrow is when our group became the evening's antagonist
Yes, I have your ice luge mold. I'll do a prisoner exchange for the beer bong
I just threw in a dip with a guy that superglued his fake tooth back in today. My life is complete.
Just rolled up to a matinee showing of THE HOBBIT. At the dollar theater. Alone. In sweats. With a fifth of sunnybrook and leftover pizza in a ziplock. There's a dude here in cape with his elderly mother. I'm handling this breakup FIIIIIINE.
I should rephrase... I'm trying to not sit on other peoples faces besides my boyfriends.
You just gave me the title for the series of our lives. Haha. Chapter 12: the cocaine on the back of the hairbrush
He stopped the gas pump at 69 and gave me my receipt. He wants it.
Randomize
