So. Did i wake up at 430, try to drive home, stop to throw up at a shell, and try to clean out my car and drop my keys in a full dumpster? Yes.
are you wasted or are you getting laid?
ebdebdebdebd
wow
i just used burnetts to get spraypaint off the floor of my dorm lobby
Never have I ever before welcomed her period with such enthusiasm. She was starting to pick out baby names. She got me "What to Expect When You're Expecting."
Just tried on my bathing suit for the first time this year. Had to drink a beer to numb the pain.
He's throwing up in my bed and I'm not even getting fucked for this
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
She insisted on fucking on the futon mattress on the floor, answered the phone call from her boyfriend who was on his way to pick her up, and then had the audacity to ask if I was clean
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
All I know is she had me sitting on the kitchen floor with her little Pomeranian eating potato chips And shredded cheese. I don't even know dude. I don't even know.
Sorry if this is weird, but please don't have sex in my truck. I get to be the first...
But yeah, that is officially the new "I just came" picture
Sex on acid. Try it. I thought we were fucking in outer space with fireworks inside a rocketship car. Best.
are you drinking tonight?
I have an exam tomorrow
so yes.
Like I’ve seen him completely trashed and I’ve also seen him rip shirtsleeves off with his teeth and I can’t tell if I’m intrigued or not
Randomize
