You should see what I'm doing to your stuffed animals
I JUST GOT MY PERIOD AND MY VISA FOR LONDON GOT APPROVED! BEST DAY EVER!
everything was going good until you started showing off the pictures of poop you took with your phone
this crazy girl in up in Dennys is going crazy because Bob Saget just texted her.
Accidentally spilled a drink on her roommates skirt, offered to clean it, and got a blowjob out of the deal. Something went horribly right.
6 other girls and I took an ice cream truck to the bar when we couldn't get a cab. Best birthday ever.
Its the anniversary of our epic NBA All-star game weekend. The night the two of us cashed a 30-pack while watching the dunk contest
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
Nothing says happy gameday like waking up in only an ACC Championship shirt in the qb's bed with a different football player
I specialize in how to hang out and party with randoms after you've hooked up with them. Not in feelings.
I found you walking along the street hammered. You walked up said hi and handed me a beer.
Went up to some dude that hit on Laura and told him he has a voice like a grandma. Apparently didnt have muscles or kindness like grandma so can you pick me up at the ER please?
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
where are my eyebrows?
Mike's letting gay guys do body shots off him again.
My boyfriend, ladies and gentlemen.
Randomize
