Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
Now go wash the fat girl off your hands.
I'm on strict orders from her to keep sleeping with you until you give her a job next summer.
And then I passed out in my towel and was woken up by my roommate introducing me to her trick for the night.
I definitely pole-danced a parking meter outside a party last night. The cheering was appreciated.
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
I got picked up after "I just threw up in my face". Then I had very specific instructions involving the bathtub.
Also, since I switched back to this phone I've found a crop of dick pics and your funeral arrangements.
Let me be the vehicle for you to live out your slutty half-gay dreams.
If I woke up in a pillar of smoke I suppose that's a sign right
Like did I tell you about the ex Amish guy? Because that was a mess
i dunno, a lot of my childhood feels like a drugged up fever dream
I'm that daughter that had to send her mother "DON'T GET SHITFACED" & yes, in ALL CAPS.
Randomize
