i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
im pretty sure i just saw someone trying to catch a fish with his penis
her dad is making me watch Glen Beck, i only agreed because i penetrated his daughter earlier.
at one point he was caressing me in the kitchen asking me my name over and over again and then asking what my favorite continent was
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
Had no idea what his name was when I woke up. Went through his desk, found his tax records. Ben. And loaded.
I asked if he wanted to come over and he said he was busy. Then I sent him a pic of me in the bath with the bottle of wine I already finished and all of a sudden he was free. Booty calls are too easy.
No, fuck buddies don't get birthday party privledges...
Sorry.
Well I was thinking of taking him out for drinks then lecturing him about his drinking... kind of like an open minded intervention
Please don't make me ever have to hear the words "the Queen's gynecologist" ever again.
I came over to get dick...not to watch you vacuum....at 2 AM
I grabbed the pretzel bag with my toes last night. I think that day of yoga had paid off.
I don't get a "my roommate is fucking you" discount?!
He's a waste of a perfectly good penis.
I bet he’d be surprised by the epic blow job he’d get if he stopped talking about his wife long enough for me to get in the mood
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