the bulge in his pants is not junk. its hair. trust.
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester
the only good thing about him lasting five minutes was that nobody thinks i had sex with him or that im a slut because we were only in the bathroom for five minutes
Ok, maybe I don't want to know what happened last night... But somehow I guess I moved the oven.
Im calling him
was mistake calling. If you drunk dial someone you deserve to choke on a tubesock. Take the advice. Always remember
Bonus points if the penis has a little hat too
IF WE WERE REALLY BEST FRIENDS FOREVER YOU GUYS WOULD AGREE TO A WATCHING A PORNO PARTY
Do you know how hard it is to was the scent of sex from your hair in a gas station bathroom?!
You were literally hanging out the window and dancing to the remix to Ignition when we drove you home
Dude. Photoshop a Santa hat on your mug shot and send it as your Christmas cards.
He took a picture of me to show his boss why he was late...Is that a compliment or not?
He is currently passed out on his toilet. Point day drinking.
Hold on...did you Instagram a picture of you and your boyfriend while you were sending me dirty snapchats?
YOUR STATE IS STUPID
Did you miss a turn again?
WHAT FUCKING IDIOT DECIDED TO DESIGN AN ENTIRE FUCKING STATE WHERE YOU CAN'T MAKE A FUCKING LEFT TURN?!? FUCK NEW JERSEY
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