i shall enjoy my approximately 2 hours of being sober today
I made a tournament bracket for the girls that Im talking with.
She gained 35 lbs and has an ankle bracelet, time for new booty call.
I have a way to get him back. you're going to have to take one for the team and make a visit to the health department. you in?
The number of males in the usa getting circumsized are decreasing. Keep this in mind when we become cougars
You suck at answering, but you did manage to avoid a fun conversation about hemorrhoids. So maybe you're great at answering.
i just tried to use a string cheese as a light source
We haven't been trashed enough to shut down a bar together in four days. I'm starting to worry that we're growing apart.
The night went downhill when he took his pants off at our table and walked up to women saying "Special delivery"
It was inevitable. It was like I was a caterpillar and now I'm a drunk and high butterfly
Puke-y regrets or just things-seem-far-away regrets?
Is someone on their way here yet? I'm way too tweaked to be here alone
The people around me on the bus dont know im wearing glowsticks under my clothes. I feel like a super hero.
Umm I might be late. Also I am may or may not have mayonnaise on my ass
are you comparing glasses to pregnancy
Randomize
