I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
I just noticed she took the "toys" too. That's how you know when it's really over.
Two bottles of champagne and half a pizza later, I'm crying myself to tears watching The Nanny. Happy finals week.
I'll see ya tonight at your house...and I'm bringing you a special treat that starts with a V and ends with us eventually going to rehab one day.
I feel like fucking him is something we all do but don't want to admit to. like masturbating or peeing in the shower
He could have been a one armed faceless howler monkey. I was so slammered that I didn't care what I was having sex with or if whatever it was... was doing it right.
Nothing says walk of shame like leather pants in daylight
I told him finishing at the same time would be a long-term project. Like flipping a house. A sexual house.
oh my god I have a fantastic druncle story to tell you. It involves a burrito, a meltdown and a bear
The burrito and meltdown are standard, but I'm intrigued by the bear
I ate the crust off the pizza and left the rest in the box. Even I would hate me.
Ims textiofg thsi woht my noes bcuz my hansd aer stli handcuffde to teh bedfrme. Help me
I think it's safe to assume that dad heard you lose your lesbian virginity last night
Random pof guy just messaged me initiating a Pokemon battle. Want to be a bridesmaid?
Oh, I also stabbed a guy Friday and he still asked me out
he just kept biting everyone and singing hilary duff songs. i can't even bring him to a gas station.
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