Come to wood. Julia is putting pants on. We must stop her.
shes still asleep dad put a lobster in her bathroom
my hippie aunt just sent me some brownies with a note saying not to eat them under any circumstances until finals are over. excited.
I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
Everything was good until you pulled the bartenders hair because she cut you off
She told me my parents were awesome for leaving me uncircumcised...
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
I'm not sure how many more innuendos I can slip into this fucking conversation before I just blatantly say "I want to fuck you."
He turned me into a screamer. Guess I'm really not a lesbian.
Nevermind, there are three drinks waiting at the bar for me. I cannot disappoint this alcohol.
I broke my heels and ended up on a random party bus where I passed out after a brief stripper pole incident.
I just laughed so hard that my back cracked so hard that I thought I was cumming. Magic
I specifically remember rubbing my eyes thinking I could definitely go blind and I really like came to terms with it I was like ok my other senses will develop this is fine
Finally finished unpacking shit from school n found a bra with no idea whose it is... I miss college so much it hurts sometimes
We are totally like Jim and Pam, except ya know, drunk and not together anymore.
Randomize
