So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
do herpes really smell.
i threw up on the blunt... he was pissed.
just walked past a group of stoners who were staring open jawed in the spice aisle. tonight they will stumble upon something amazing.
she uses eco-friendly sex toys. she is the literal definition of a hippie.
Didn't get laid. But got a free pie from a waitress. A whole pie.
Okay good. I don't want another mom thinking I got their daughter pregnant.
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
Is a 'Dr. Willy Fister Gynecologist' costume appropriate for work?
The Winnie the Pooh costume was great until you got drunk and started yelling at the kids asking for pictures.
how many times have i told you.. they dont like when you laugh during sex
He bought me a burrito. I introduced him as "Horse-Dicked Jake" all night. My debt has been repaid.
Breaking into his house to steal the sheets I'd drunk pissed on before he got home was not how I wanted to be spending spring break
And we had three hours of crazy sex then his roommate ate pizza off me while I was sleeping.
Woke up this morning with Nerf Bullets stuck to everything in my house and nut in my belly button. What exactly happened last night?
Randomize
