You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
I looked at her and said "I now pronounce you pumpkin tits"
I hope the doctor doesnt lift up and my shirt and listen to my lungs. I dont want to explain why I have rug burns on my back.
she looks like one of those semi-pretty girls that turns into a 9 while she's riding your cock like she's trying to catch a train on horseback.
Oh man I'm using the bubble wrap that wraped my new vibrator to wrap my dads fathers day gift
I gave the guy a $20 tip on a $9 cab ride, he thought I was just bad at math but I was really just incredibly thankful to be alive and home.
I was like "don't worry, I'm a math major and you deserve the shit out of that 222% tip"
Oh were you the stripper at that club last Sunday when i was trippin on acid wearing a giraffe outfit?
I was planning out a scrapbook to memorialize my affair.......and that's when it hit me, I don't make good choices. On the upside, the scrap book came out great and I am glad I saved all the gate passes from the airport.
I'll call you on my way home
Oh my god I'm going to die between now and then... can you at least tell me if y'all hooked up???
He showed up at my house with roses and a bottle of vodka... to watch a movie. obvi i took the vodka and didn't sleep with him
Just an fyi, you also tried to wrangle a peacock last night.
I haven't been single on my birthday for 7 years. If you don't get me laid tonight, your best friend/wing woman status will be revoked.
My manager caught me going taking a nap in an empty room. Apparently she sleeps there too.
Randomize
