I just saw a woman parallel park a horse. Awesome. Only in New York..
he asked me what things i liked that he did in bed, and i told him all the things i hated so he would use it on that new bitch and she wouldnt hook up with him anymore.
you for real need to get over him dude
you got kicked out last night because right after you said "whats up?" to us, you downed your whole vodka ton and threw it across the bar.
So I was blaaazed. & while he was in me all I kept thinking was how bad I'd rather be watching The Office.
Thats my favorite, when ex girlfriends become XL ex girlfriends
If I EVER wake up with two black eyes again you better come up with a better story than trying to see how many punches I could take.
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
Some guy just drank alcohol from me shoe..I think he's had enough..
She looks like a beluga.
I want to splash her with water and when she screams say "I didn't want you to die. You looked parched"
When you are 21 it's acceptable to run out of the tavern and puke all over the bike rack... when you are 35 it's called alcoholism.
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
I just moved my 11am hair appointment to 8am so I could blackout at noon. Who am I?
Helped a guy at work today that did nothing but stare at my chest....safe to say the Girls were looking G.O.O.D. today.
The day I let him eat me out will be the day that Donald trump is an honest, kind, non-bigoted member of society
Her hand jobs are magic. They smell like vanilla and awesomeness. She made me forget how to walk
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