So she started giving everyone lap dances, and i was like "i think i like this chick"
Goal for tonight: Make one last drunken mistake for the semester.
I woke up at 5am and he was watching me sleep... Come get meee!!??
i feel as if its time to shave my pubes but i should wait until before the party. nobody likes a sloppy drunk girl with a stubble-crotch.
story of my life.
drunk doesn't even begin to explain it. dude called him and said to bring you back because he'd already called dibs.
You told the waitress last night "What tip bracket do I have to be in to see your boobs"
I have more bruises, scratches, and overall soreness from my birthday weekend than my car accident.
we're tailgating intramural basketball with hard drugs and tequila...and i think the players are taking shrooms
All I remember is intermittent flashes of being passed out on the side of the road 3 or 4 different times. And telling him to just leave me there and I would walk home in the morning.
Within 24 hours, I went to a feminist documentary screening with two state reps and you hate fucked a rent-a-cop on the helipad of your hospital. Somewhere our lives went in different directions.
I still make more money.
Just to let you know... If you ever want to get me a gift, the One Direction perfume comes out soon....... It's called Our Moment. It's an appropriate gift for a 25 year old woman.
Just woke up and spent the first hour of consciousness throwing up with the Rocky theme song on repeat.
He's unconstrained by sanity, physics, or his liver.
You can't leave me alone in times of distress because I will fuck things 🙈😐
I don't wanna SLEEP with him, I want to start bar fights with him. There's a difference.
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