what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
He should be on Bizare Foods after who he ate last night
My boss just called me into his office to apologize for being an "inadvertant cockblock"
Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
I just recorded courtney puking and set it as my ringtone.
He just washed his hands with scrubbing bubbles yelling "They work hard so I don't have to!"
Urine might work for jellyfish stings, but we found out it doesn't work well for nose bleeds...
I accidentally screamed the wrong name last night. He stopped for a second, said "fuck it, you're too hot to care," and then continued fucking me.
You rolled out of the car, got on all fours and puked then just nonchalantly stood up and waved goodbye and thanks for the ride.
i promise ill be ok...btw im only considered "not ok" if i end up in the hospital.
Ugh. my cast still smells like fermenting hot tub water and bad decisions.
You were so drunk you decided to go out of the car window instead of using the door, once you realized what you had just done you said fuck it and went back in through the window
I beat my mom's friend's boyfriend in a vodka chugging competition. Our generation FTW.
Threesomes are not as fun as you'd think. I left with a black eye and I'm not sure who's to blame.
Fuck him and his perfect arms, huge penis and relentless ability to ignore me.
Randomize
