just won 30 on black! Ok adicteddd! Never coming back gqmbeqing is easy.
now my debit card is betting 1k whoops. im gongk eh be rich!!!
whoops didnt work. think the gambeli mashine is busters!! now im betting 2k?! bad idea?
i just peed out my two story window using my cell phone as a flashlight . hope the neighbors didnt see
You were playing beer pong by yourself. Finally someone took the ball and threw it into the bonfire. You sat by it, cried, and contemplated how to get it out. For 45 minutes.
she just uttered the sweetest sentence in the english language...my stripper friends are coming over
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
I watched her choke out a bouncer with the broken strap from her purse, I think shes the one.
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
I dont even remember coming home... All my stuff is strewn randomly around my apartment... And I woke up at 5 sitting propped up in my bed with just my arm in a shirt
I've got a whole match.com system. Triple book. First dates always get the 6pm happy hour drinks slot. 8pm dinner goes to a girl where I think I can close the deal. 10pm slot goes to the sure thing in case of emergency, but 6 can always trump 8 and 8 always trumps 10. Just blame it on a dead iPhone battery.
That, my friend, is how I bang 50 new girls a year. Not luck at all. It's science and statistics.
It's like the first time your mom catches you masturbating. We both know what she saw. We're just not talking about it...
You came out of your room naked under your open robe with a mouth full of brownie on a stick and grabbed a fistful of fruit loops and shoved them into your already full mouth.
So we are in the middle of sex and his brother knocks on the door and says "dude I just wanted to know if you want to see the fish I got tonight"
IM BACK TOGETHER WITH MY BF AND HERE YOU ARE SUCKING DICK FROM 2009
If I'm not naked in the back of a cop car having sex by the end of the night, I did something wrong..
Sorry you saw my balls. Pregame includes a lot of shaving.
Randomize
