it was all downhill after the free blackjack taco
If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
She has a lazy eye!
My other option is a hardwood floor
I'm 25 and she is 19. She wants to practice blowjobs on me because of my stamina. Not only does the GI bill pay for me to go to school I am teaching a freshman blowjob course. I love Texas.
We knew it was a good time to leave when you spilt the salsa on the ground and were trying to put it back in the jar with your hands
hes duct taped to the wall and we're throwing eggs at him. i love thirsty thursday.
Made a holiday JibJab of all my fucks. How's your night?
I still owe him the card with all the sperm paper cutouts falling out like glitter saying " sorry you can't hold your load. Better luck next time "
the girl whose rug I peed on is here
Walking into class right now and I swear to god I smoked down the substitute teacher we have at a party I went to last week
He was trying to talk to me about standards while he had a french fry box on his hand like a glove and was using it to flatten his cheeseburger.
I'm going to make a stack of pancakes and fuck it. Right now.
Apparently i tried to feed this guy's piranhas my whole left arm.. according to him, i was "showing them whos boss, bc if they try to eat my arm, im guna punch their face"
I have a bottle of rum in my pocket...what does that say about me...
You come prepared
...this is why fuck buddies should be only for grownups.
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