Haha she couldn't find her dress in the morning. So she left it. How do the hell do I discreetly return that to her at work. More importantly, how did she discreetly do the walk of shame??
At best buy, little boy just crawled into my stall while i was taking a shit
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
I was so drunk that I didn't realize he was staying at the Waldorf. I walk of shamed the Astoria, do you even know what this means?
Its so fun. We're having a music war with the boat next to us. They have strippers.
I want to get my vag crammed with complete loss of every bit of dignity I have left by this man from every angle on every flat surface that exists. That is all.
I do wanna see you. And we can just lay here and watch a movie and listen to me cry.
Find a vagina and bring it to me. Like feeding a tiger.
Also, making a white Russian with butterscotch schnapps instead of vodka is probably the best decision I've made in my entire college career.
I just got fingered in the Win-Co parking lot for pills. How's your meltdown going?
I was basically just fingering myself and thinking about space.
Currently eating Dominos at the bar high as shit so that's how homework is going
My mom just asked me about the teeth marks on my headboard..
GOD I WOULD STAB DANNY IN THE EYE WITH HIS OWN PENIS
.........That big, huh?
No. I would cut it off
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