She wanted to watch a Baby Einstein DVD while we fucked. I'm pretty open minded but that felt a little creepy.
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
I love drunk self when he leaves a prepacked bong for the morning... in the bathroom.
I tried to cut him off and he said "I was the president of a fraternity for 3 years, I could outdrink God."
Just saw my father's penis. Don't know what to say.
apparently the bartender would rather give me free shots than tell me that my whole nipple piercing was hanging out
Nuts. Absolutely nuts. she just screamed in my face something about not knowing whats happening and then got tackled by a dude
Recycling day makes me feel more like an alcoholic than regular days.
Using a joint as a bookmark. What is my life?
I like her. She smells like old lady but tastes like whiskey
Came home from this girls horse at 6am to find a guy lighting off roman candles in front of my door. Best walk of fame I've ever had.
He was like, I wanna take it slow. I took off my bra And I was like, either we have sex now or you get out.
Apparently 24 hr fitness frowns upon the ingestion of psychedelics on its premises, don't see that in the sign up contract.
i think the people from taco bell are onto us. they had my order ready today at 3am BEFORE I even got there.
How you run into a glAss door three times in a row I do not know
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