there are definitely too many half naked pictures of me out there for me to ever be famous.
She just squirted all over my face. then laughed at me and took a pic
Dude, we totally smoked up inside a church organ last night. Add this to the epic list.
and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
I traded my shirt for vodka. I wonder if my parents can pinpoint where they went wrong raising me.
whoever brushed my teeth and whitened them while i was passed out, thanks.
Sunshine is the equivalent of sprinkling whore pellets on campus.
She asked the woman in the drive through to cover everything she ordered in mayonnaise, including here chilli cheese fries. Didn't happen. Then she started swerving at the car next to us screaming, asking if they had mayonnaise.
He told me he wanted a penis beard so that he could look at girls faces when they gave him blowjobs. i have to say, i kind of admire his creativity
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
Not really how I planned to achieve immortality, but I'll take it.
Ugh it's 2016, why can't our bodies just shed fat on their own
Got caught up in a real life love triangle. Both guys wanted me. I'm tempted to just run off with the cute girl from McDonalds instead
Please do that
Unexpected pro of the hostel though: literally down the street from Coors Field. I could literally fart on the building in five minutes.
Randomize
