Pick my eyebrow is burning. I'm sitting in the back of dolows vat and listening to jolly music and wilfgang is signing and looking food. Cute kid. Home is where I go now.
what. the. fuck.
I feel violated. a guy just did an ultrasound on my balls. He made eye contact..
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
Pregaming for shuffle board at 10 AM. I love spring break.
I froze in his sixty one degree room but i came so hard. Like fucking the eskimo god.
Your the only friend that would realize I'm gonna get drunk and send coke to me at a bar before I made drunken phone calls for it. You sir complete me.....
I must have some kind of deep rooted instinct that tells me when a boys virginity needs to be taken.
I told you, I'm taking a sledgehammer to your walls. Fuck your walls.
I'm Batman.
Didn't think the day of being the oldest in a club would be when I'm twenty one. Even the bouncer looked surprised when he ID me.
I refuse to be socially acceptable any longer than what is needed to pick up chinese food.
you hit your head on the sneeze guard and passed out at Pizza Hut they called the police
I would cock slap so many things if I had a cock.
I am not even ashamed to say it, I got laid in the stairwell of the hotel, by a 29 year old. It was awesome!
I woke up an hour ago with orange fingers and a condom stuck to my head.. Wtf just happened?
You need to go! It’s a midwestern wedding - the single girls out there think life ends at 25 if they don’t have a picket fence and family. That’s when your penis introduces himself
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