I jsut got pulled over and passed the sobritaty test.
Good thing spelling doesn't count.
where are my pants?
you were passing out with two blankets and the person next to you was cold so you gave him your pants to keep warm
i just went to use the bathroom this morning and I couldn't because there was someone puking in every stall. i'm going to miss the dorms this summer
When you start quoting save the last dance you need to stop drinking
Beer Popsicles are better in theory
The bouncer yelled at him for poking at the guy selling roses, I think it's time to leave.
So can we talk about how we all three made out with the bike taxi driver in lieu of paying him. I'm not even mad, that's resourceful. You know what married girls would have had to do? They'd have had to pay.
I've never been so embarrassed. It's like waking up as Fred Durst.
Using a joint as a bookmark. What is my life?
want to know what my life has come to? I just took a 45 min shower banging on the walls and making loud sex noises so my neighbors think I get some.
took over 12 bombs tonight and we still aren't hooking up. Wait how am I functioning
I actually haven't slept with anyone in a while. I think my whore phase is just seasonal.
I need a conscience and I need it yesterday.
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
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