I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
dude I just realized something - girls return my clothes washed so in thought bringing girls home is like avoiding going to the laundramat
Care to explain why there is sushi in the soap dish in the bathroom
Got my bloodwork back and my liver is in tip top shape. Apparently blacking out 5 nights a week isn't cutting it, so we've got to step it up until I see that all of my hard work is actually paying off and doing some damage.
I'm starting to think my role in the world is to inject batshit crazy, mentally unbalanced chicks with a dose of normal sperm.
This girl ordered Hershey syrup and red wine and he made it for her
Either you got hacked or we need to have a serious discussion about sending penis enlargement emails to your straight friends and why you shouldn't. It sends the wrong message.
It's all fun and games until your in the alumni campus center puking on the floor
So i know i said I'm turning over a new leaf, but i met a guy with a dick piercing. I have to sleep with him. For science.
We have had more Sex in the past 48 hours then we have in the past 3 months. I think it was from me dressing up as Darth Vader.
I’m glad they have a happy marriage but why do they have to inflict it on the rest of us?
I know you can't find me. Somehow I ended up on the roof smoking a cig with the strippers that are on break. Way too drunk to deal with this right now.
She kept telling me that it pissed her off that i expect people to make out with me...then she made out with me. Win?
Call me Sherlock Holmes, bitch.
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